Monday, October 29, 2012

October 29th

This is my spot for personal reflection. It won't always be exciting. My life is pretty dull actually.  If you are looking for something exciting please check my tabs (above). This section is my journal, boring and raw as it is. It might not be what you're expecting, but I'm unashamed.

"Virtue is not the absence of vices or the avoidance of moral dangers; virtue is a vivid and separate thing, like pain or a particular smell.” 
~ G.K. Chesterton

October 29th, 2012 3:30 PM

I have a crazy pet peeve. It can throw my day into turmoil so quickly and it is actually sort of humorous that I let it bother me to such a huge degree.

Here's how it starts: I take a bath, a long hot bubble bath. I wash and condition my hair,shave my legs, and even use a face mask. I feel beautiful as I drain the water and grab a towel to dry off. Then it happens. I wipe the towel across my face to gather the string of drops sliding down my forehead and smell something that is not appealing. Maybe it's a soggy smell like a towel that wasn't hung up in time. Sometimes it smells like sweat, body odor or something so bad I won't describe it. The whole towel smells of it and the scent grows every second. The thing is I know it was a clean towel as recent as last night and since I haven't used my towel I know someone else has. Now the smell is overwhelming. I smell it on my skin and that smell floats all the way into my brain. It's everywhere and I just want to grab a new towel and start another bath. I feel dirty and I would start the whole process over except that my four little intruders would be cheated out of a Mom's uncompromised attention for far too long. Honestly I'm lucky I had moderate privacy for as long as I have. Wanting a redo would just be greedy.

I put on lotion, but instead of getting rid of the odor I compound it. I get dressed trying to ignore the smell. I can't ignore the smell. Suddenly everything smells. My lipstick smells like tinned clay. My clothes smell like musty lint. The toothpaste smells like a broken candy cane.

I leave the bathroom and walk past the kitty litter box that the cat just left a fresh deposit in.

I want to scream. This time, just before I give in to an explosion of emotion on my unsuspecting family, I think of my son with Sensory Processing Disorder. My senses are completed overloaded. Is this how it feels?

I make a cup of hot cinnamon tea and sip it slowly, pulling in the aroma with each breath. I light some candles that my great grandpa made in my grandparent's basement a quarter of a century ago, only it feels like it just happened and the spicy scents mix into memories and sooth my nerves.

That's how I handled it this time anyway. Usually, I gripe.

Friday, October 19, 2012

October 19th, 2012

This is my spot for personal reflection. It won't always be exciting. My life is pretty dull actually.  If you are looking for something exciting please check my tabs (above). This section is my journal, boring and raw as it is. It might not be what you're expecting, but I'm unashamed.

October 19th

“Pain is such an uncomfortable feeling that even a tiny amount of it is enough to ruin every enjoyment.” 

~Will Rogers

Today I woke up too early. It was 7:00. I pushed away the alarm clock (my husband) and tried to snag an extra 15 minutes. I made it 12.

I took my shower and headed out to the doctor. This was the fifth doctor I have seen in two months in an attempt to find the cause of my abdominal pain. So far it isn't my gull bladder, endometriosis, fibroids, a cyst, a blockage in my intestines, Diabetes, Hypoglycemia, a kidney infection or anything they can pinpoint.

The Gynecologist said "It's not gynecological", the Gastroenterologist says "It isn't gastrointestinal". The Primary Care doctor says "It isn't normal." I'm just waiting for them to tell me "It isn't anatomical".

Whatever it is, it's beyond irritating. Worst of all, after they poke and prod and stir up the pain they don't give me anything to decrease it or even validate it at all. They just scratch their heads, make notes on their laptop computers and send me off with a referral to another equally clueless physician.

I'm tired of this. I want the GREAT Physician to do his work and erase all the need for fallible human evaluation. I pray. I hope. I take the medications I have and I wait for an answer. In the meantime I hurt.

So I came home exhausted and sore and pretty certain that I would never get the answers I need to make this pain go away. I came in to find my son having fits about cleaning. The house was messy and you know what . . .I'm just too sore to care. But I do care. I just don't want to.

So here I am. I've finished work and I'm chilling on the couch with my laptop sitting on my green lap desk.

I feel guilty because the house is a mess, but I don't want to clean it.

I want to play with the kids, but I know I can't run or keep my energy up long enough to complete anything impressive.

I'm full of excuses. Excuses that other people in the house don't understand because it doesn't hurt them to breath or stand or shift positions.

I look lazy, but my mind doesn't stop. I read. I write. I watch. Everywhere around me life is happening.

In four hours we'll light our Shabbat candles and the guilt will go away. I'll be "off the clock" and work will be  impossible. I'm ready for that.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Read and Share Toddler Bible

With The Read and Share Toddler Bible you can enjoy several classic bible stories from both the Old and New Testaments.  Activity ideas are found inside Parent bubbles in each stories.  Suggestions might include discussing “no-no’s” at your house to cover disobedience and bring the sin of Adam and Eve to their level or something similar.  The activity’s center around parent guidance and don’t really require a lot of preparation or time investment.  This together time can really bring the stories to life though and it’s a wonderful feature.  
The stories in the Read and Share Toddler Bible are very sweet and age appropriate, but it’s the picture I can’t take my eyes off of.  I love the illustrations in this adorable toddler Bible.
This book also includes the 60 minute animated DVD that coincides with the book.
For $14.99 this is a really exceptional value.
You can see a sample and get a feel for the Read and Share Toddler Bible with this free online flip book.
Go here to order the book on sale for $10.99!

* I was given this product free to review on behalf of Thomas Nelson, October 2009